We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
