Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
