He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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