You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
