There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
