you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
