He kissed a someone with a penis
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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