My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize