I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
