Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
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