her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
