please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
