I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize