I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
