I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Congratulations! We have a period
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