He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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