Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
