her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize