Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Rumble strips road head = magical
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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