I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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