O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
operation harelip BJ is a go
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
