ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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