Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
