just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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