Duck Duck Cougar?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
