coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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