You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
