bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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