does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
