No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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