Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
