I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
