u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
