we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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