porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize