I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
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