You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
