I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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