i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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