no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
