Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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