i permit you to call me
high people should be assigned attendants
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize