I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
