WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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