why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
