apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
