I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
