maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Randomize
