Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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