Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
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