There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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