one two three fourrrrnication!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
