i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
