I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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