and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
