Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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