I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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