Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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