I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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