that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
