actually, I'm a sock model
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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