It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
