a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
