Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
