I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I wish you could order shots online.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
