As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
How does one acquire holy water?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize