it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize