you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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