I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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